When getting into a D/s relationship with someone who has a partner I personally feel that I have to make sure that partner of that sub is cared for.
I am a female supremacist and believe that all women are equal a subs girlfriend or wife isn't beneath me she shouldn't be punished for her partners fetishes. I want the sub to be open with his partner. I don't want to be the other woman or put a strain on their relationship. I don't want a sub sneaking around behind her back, her seeing his phone messages and them arguing because I am giving him something that she can't. I embrace the female sisterhood and always tell subs to explain to his partner the relationship we have. Its a fetish fulfilling relationship and I am always happy to talk to her and help her to learn skills if she is willing to speak with me so she can do it with him
If you are scared about losing your partner if she finds out don't seek out a Domme for sessions or you can TELL HER what you are doing so she doesn't have to find out. It is not up to the Domme to be a marriage counsellor or be responsible for you if your wife/girlfriend splits up with you if she finds out what you've been doing. You are a grown man and have full control of your actions.
99% of the time the partner doesn't find out or my subs are single. That 1% I want to make sure she doesn't lose out.
If I get spoiled she gets spoiled. There is a reason the sub is with the partner she fulfils something in his life that I don't give him so she should not lose out because I fulfil the other part of his life.
If you spend a lump sum on me she gets a gift or you take her out for a meal.
Pleasing me should also mean pleasing her.
Associate being a better slave with being a better boyfriend/husband.
This will make you a better man and slave, worshipping all women and realising they are all above you.